Kariuki Scripture Art Blog

So I was sitting at a church service a while back as my pastor preached a series on Forgiveness.  It was so timely as I had been seething with rage in my heart over a false accusation.  My truthful answers were not believed and so my rage inside escalated as I was therefore being called a liar.

Needless to say, the sermon was a timely orchestration by God.  The pastor spoke of forgiveness being difficult especially when we feel a grave injustice has been done to us.  He taught the wonderful reminder about extending Christ’s forgiveness to our offenders as Christ has forgiven us, because we will then be forgiven with the measure we use.

He was preaching to the choir as we say in church.  I knew all of this already, yet I was so overwhelmed by hurt and my voice not being heard, I just actually wanted to stay angry.  The anger somehow validated my feelings against the wrong done to me.  It doesn’t, of course, but I just felt that way at the time and that lie somehow gave me justice.

The Holy Spirit was working yet again, guiding into all truth.  I felt convicted regarding the resentment in my heart.  Pastor encouraged us to close our eyes and ask the Lord if there were people we needed to forgive and to pray for Christ to help us extend His forgiveness to these people as He has forgiven us…well, me.  So I prayed and a few people who have hurt me came to mind, mostly hurt pride issues and some spiritual abuse issues.

I prayed and the Lord softened my heart toward these people and I felt compassion.  As I continued to pray I said, “Lord, I believe there was something else in my life that was devastating or something, but I just can’t remember right now.”  I tried so hard to remember but I couldn’t.  So I said, “Lord, I guess it’s not that important if I can’t remember.  So help me to forgive those you bring to my heart right now.”

By the end of the church service, my heart felt clean and light and pure.  No rage, no resentment, no bitterness – just compassion and love.  And then it came to me!  I said, “Oh yeah, I was sexually abused!”  I literally chuckled to the Lord in delight.  Not that sexual abuse is a laughing matter. NO.  I had a laugh with the Lord because He is so wonderful!  The words of the Lord spoken through a dynamic woman of God 19 years ago was repeated to me by the Holy Spirit.  He said, “…You will be healed so gently that you will look up one day and wonder where the pain has gone…”

I smiled in awe of the Lord and what He has proven Himself able to do.  I used to think about my abuse every single day for decades at the forefront of my brain when I woke up in the morning!  I needed drugs to survive my mental and emotional anguish.  Now the Lord has healed me so much that I actually forgot about the sexual abuse!  How great is that?

All things are possible with Jesus Christ – the God of impossibilities!

~ by Natasha Mwangi on June 9, 2016.

Posted in Uncategorized